It's been a long time

since I have written anything. And there are some things that have happened. Not big life-changing things. But enough to leave an impression on me. For one, I just finished my first period of this school year. College is OK, not hard or difficult. But just a lot. My school takes up about 40 hours a week and besides that I work a full 32 hours a week in the hotel. I quit my job ate the coffee lounge after 2 months already. It was just to hard combining that with my job at the hotel and especially when college started as well. And seeing as in I liked my waitressing job better, it was an easy choice to make.

So as you can see I have a very busy schedule. A bit to busy sometimes. I can't wait to take a holiday, which I will be doing in March if all goes well. The only problem is that I'll be mega busy after that again playing catch up with school. Even though I will only be missing 4 schooldays then. I have only just started the second period last week and I'm already behind on my homework. It's lots of drawing and painting and stuff.Not only is it messy work but it also takes a while to do.

So, as to be expected I have been straining myself so much lately (also going out a lot) and so I have been feeling under the weather the last couple of weeks. My stomach keeps turning over and I'm just so tired all the time. All well, just 3 and a half more years and that will be done with to. Then hopefully I'll have my degree and will be starting a real career. As interior designer.

But now the other things that have been happening lately.
1. I have been stupid enough to fall for a guy at my work, whom just happens to be politically extreme right. I other words, he doesn't like foreigners and sees me as one. The really weird thing though. He likes me too. says he thinks I'm beautiful and even kisses me and 'made love' to me. If you could call it making love if the next morning all he says is; that shouldn't have happened. And then you can think, well if you really like the boy those things can happen. So you made a mistake and slept with him. Yes well, you know what they say. 'fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you.' But what if it happened a third time. Should I just ask God for a set of brains then. Cause clearly, I'm moronic. How stupid is it, not to just fall in love with a guy like that, but also to let him use me like that. But then the big question. Why would he want to have sex with me and kiss me and be there for me in my time of need and how can he think I'm beautiful when at the same time he says that and I am exactly what he doesn't want. A Asian/American girl with a toned skin color and dark brown hair. Sure I have a Dutch passport and the dutch nationality. And sure I was born and raised here and so was my dad. But that just ain't good enough for them is it. No, you can't be Dutch according to him and his little friends when you have a colored skin and any other kind of blood running through your veins. When really, do you think they can tell by DNA whether you're German or Dutch or Asian or any other kind of nationality. No they can't. I mean sure, they can tell a lot by it, but not that (yet).

Then another thing. Cori Baker. My second cousin from Oklahoma, USA has been missing since the 9th of November. She is presumed died. The first time I heard about this, she had already been missing for 2 weeks. I was very upset after hearing this news of course. Cried a lot on the days following. I checked Google.com and found out what exactly was going on. But know it seems like they're not interested in the case anymore. There haven't been any new things on her for a week or so now. Meaning she hasn't been found either. The poor girl was only 13 years old. The man who did it, was her sister's 18 year old boyfriend. Can you believe that. It's just not something you expect to happen, especially to your own family.
I just hope she will be found. So my whole family can get some peace.

Ketchup

It's been a while since I have written anything on this blog. The only real exciting thing that's happend is my holiday to Rimini, Italy. I left in the morning of friday the 6th of july to catch the train to Utrecht with 3 other girls, Mardou, Lauri and Nurish. Mardou is a friend of mine from work (Mexx), lauri is her friend and Nurish is Lauri's friend. We all did not know at least one person in the group. But to my surprize it went very well. We had loads of fun, partied, went sightseeing and (of course) lay at the beach. It was about 90 degrees out most days. Sometimes a little hotter, sometimes a little cooler. Perfect weather for a beachvacation. Got a nice tan, made tons of pictures, finally got to see Venice, made a boattrip, went to the biggest outdoor disco of Europe, went to 3 other clubs as well, made some new friends, went to (taxfree shopping country) San Marino and so had a very nice time.

Since I've gotten back I haven't done anything other then working and sleeping. They were kind enough to give me more then a weeks worth of morning shifts, so I had to get up at 5 am almost every morning. That after telling them I'm not a morningperson AT ALL... Owh well. Just 3 more days and I'll have some late shifts again, 3 to be exact. Yessa, after that it's another round of morning shifts. The only nice thing about it is that I'm free as off 3 pm. But often to tierd to do anything, haha.

I'll be starting my job at the coffee lounge next week if all goes well. They should be sending me my schedual soon anyways. So lets hope. Cause really...after Rimini I can really use all the money. I'm not just broke, I'm in dept. Owh well, 2 months pay will pay it all off. So it's not that bad. That with leaving me with extra money in the 1st and 2de month. See, it's not as bad as all that, haha.

Here some Rimini pictures

Looks like fun right, HAHA

If only you were here

I haven't written anything for a while so I figure I might as well give everyone an update. I had a jobinterview today for work as a barista. This means I'll be working in a coffee-lounge (not shop) and will be able to make all different types of luxurious coffees. I have to call them back tomorrow to see if I got the job. If I get that job I'll be working that one parttime and keep my job as a waitress at the campanille as well. Or at least, see how long I can handle working 60 hours a weeks, hihi.
Right now I'm trying to get caught up when it comes to money, which is hard seeing as in I only just got job and haven't had pay yet and am leaving for Italy next week. Going to Rimini with 3 friends. Should be fun, 4 girls in Italy, watch out boys.
I hope by then I'm feeling better. I've had shingles for the last 1,5 weeks. It's a very painfull rash of some kind which has to do with the chickenpock virus. They say you should only get it once in your life, that it's rare to get it a second time. And I'm hoping it's true, cause seriously... AUW. But don't worry, it's not contagious (if you've had chickenpocks already).

Don't have a lot more to say. Except that I'm really missing everyone in America. But then again, when I was there I was missing people here. It's a lose-lose situation I'm in...haha.

New job, new plan

I had a job try-out yesterday by hotel Campanille in Amersfoort. It was one of my first times really working as a waitress. But apparently, I'm a natural and I got hired after just a couple of hours. The good thing about this job is that it's easy enough to do and there are set shifts you work. Either from 7 am - 3 pm. or from 3 pm - 11 pm. There's a lot of work, and hard work, but that makes the time fly. I won't be officially starting till next week. And then I work part-time for 2 weeks. After that I'll be working full-time. I've already decided to only do this until school starts. Cause this company at least hires even if you don't have experience. After this I will have experience, and I can look for a job in a restaurant that is easier to combine with my school.

The colleagues I've met so far are really nice and kind. Two friends of mine work there already, but they are leaving the company soon. Won't be working with them long. I'm actually hired to replace one of my friends there. Funny how that works. Just seriously need to buy new shoes for the job. They require black shoes, but for under a skirt. And all I have is black boots, or black pumps. NO way can you work 8 hours serving in high heels. So, shopping time. Great when you're short on cash right. Not really.

That's actually the only good thing so far. But at least it means I can set my plans into motion. I mean, I do have a schedule to keep to. 21 months. I hope to be getting on the plane to my new home by the end of February 2009. Still seems so far away doesn't it... Well, it does to me. Have lots to do until that time though. Work, save money, get my drivers licence, pay off my credit-loan, get certificate for school (for finishing first year), get my visa/citizenship, and I'm sure there's more I haven't thought of yet... There always is...

So yeah, schedule on that:
1. pay off credit-loan
2. get driver's licence
3. visa/citizenship

1/2/3. during all this, save money and work and school... Easily said. But I think it's going to be hard times coming. Planning money and time in all this. But it will be so worth it when I touch down on US soil, permanently.

Back

I've been back in Holland for 4 days now. Today is the fifth day. I landed at Schiphol at the early hour of 8 am on Saturday.

My last night in San Diego was great. Dave, Cale and I went to a party in OB from a friend from work (the boat). I got to see almost everybody there again. One last time I guess. Got way too drunk on wine and that means I think everything is funny and I become very honest. Didn't say or do anything too embarrassing though. Later Rhi came and joined us at the party. She left early with Cale though. She had been working all day and had to work again the next day after dropping me off at the airport at 4 am. I went home with Ashley and Dave around 12.30. Ashely being the designated driver. She dropped us off at Dave's house and then took off so Dave and I could still hang out one last time before I left.
I was glad I had set my alarm for 3 am though, cause we both fell asleep on the couch after a while. I had been planning to just stay up, but alcohol wouldn't let me...

Dave drove me the 6 blocks to the house and we said our goodbyes. Actually, he wouldn't let me say goodbye. It was a 'see you when you get back'. It helped me that he said it wasn't a goodbye. For one I hate goodbye's and it helps me to remember those words so I don't get to sad and depressed here.
I stepped out of the car and walked to the house. Dave drove off, but I didn't dare look back. Looking back would make it a goodbye for some reason. Cale and Rhi were still in bed, so I sat down on the couch and broke down... again...
Rhi woke up because of the dogs barking cause I had gotten home and asked me if I was ok. Maybe it was best for me just to take a shower real quick. I still had 45 minutes till I had to leave. I freshened up and by the time I was done, it was 4 am and time to leave for the airport.
I knelt down beside the two dogs as Cale loaded up my suitcases in the car. I had to tell them I was leaving. Rhi told me how much they had missed me when I went to LA and I wanted them to understand I wasn't coming back soon. (Still Rhiannon told me a couple of days later that Niko was looking for me in my room...I'm sorry Niko).

We drove to the airport. I was numb. Didn't want to believe I really had to go. Kept hoping I had mistaken in the dates and I had a couple more days, or a couple more hours even. Anything....

They dropped me off at the airport and we learned that they weren't even aloud to go inside because the check in desk was right there. So we said goodbye there and I promised to be back as soon as possible.

There I was, alone at the airport. Thank god the check in line wasn't to long and right after checking in they started boarding the plane. So I didn't have enough time to break down again and cry again. And I sure as hell wasn't going to cry in public. Not alone at an airport.

My first stop would be in Denver, Colorado. It was a small plane I was in and there was a lot of turbulence during the flight. Which is great when not only am I afraid of flying. But I didn't even want to leave and sit in that damn plane. We had left a little later because of a storm over Iowa though and so when I landed in Washington DC about 1.5 hours late. This meant I only had 30 minutes to catch my next plane. So glad my suitcases went to the next flight automatically. Still had to run to board the damn plane on time. Again a flight with a whole lot of turbulence, this time to Holland itself. It seemed like the longest flight in my life. Thank god there was a nice man sitting next to me who distracted me wit a whole lotta stories. Any other time I would have thought him to be very annoying seeing as in he never shut up. But on this flight I needed it to stop myself from crying.

Because really, I was sad already, but as soon as I was on that last flight and I knew I would be leaving the States I seriously panicked. All I wanted was for the plane to turn around and go back. This last flight made it all real. No turning back. And I didn't even want to leave. I felt my heart drop to the ground. I left a part of my heart there in San Diego and now I'm left with a hollow feeling in my chest.

When we were nearing Schiphol with the plane I knew I couldn't hold back my tears much longer. I kept talking to the guy, Ross, next to me so I had a distraction. But as soon as we were aloud to leave the plane, I ran for the nearest bathroom and cried for a half an hour in the toilet cubicle.

I could have cried forever in there, but I gathered myself and freshened up. I had to get my bags and see my parents again. And I really wanted to see my parents again. I just wish they could have seen me as I was in SD. Even my sister said she had never seen me smile as much as she had seen me smile in America.

I got my suitcases and then walked out to the arrival-hall. There my parents were and my little sister, god how she has grown. She's almost taller then me now. And she's so beautiful. I hugged my mom and then Savvy and then my dad. A few tears dropped, but I whipped them away quickly.

We sat down somewhere for some breakfast, tea/coffee and a cigarette (everyone except my mom smokes, how bad is that). By the time we had finished our breakfast they announced that my sisters plane had been 3 hours delayed. No way in hell were we waiting around for that. So my dad dropped us off at home to later go back and pick Shardae and Mark up at the airport. I went upstairs as soon as possible. During the car-drive to the house it completely hit me that I was in Holland know and that it wouldn't be that easy for me to get back. So in my room I had another panic attack. I wanted to call Rhi, but had no more minutes and my American phone has no service here. So I settled for sending her an email. Or two actually.

Now a couple of days later I have no more tears to cry. All I have been doing since I got back is look for a job (so I can save money to get out there again) and sit behind the computer (looking for ways to get back there as soon as possible, permanently). Yes ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be moving to the States in about two years.

Just so we're all clear, it has nothing to do with how my life in Holland is. Because I do have a really good and nice life here. But I can not picture my future here. And home is where the heart lies. And mine has always been in San Diego. I found it there and I left it there when I came back. Now, it's up to me to find my own happiness. And I know that my true happiness can be found there.

Like I told my mom, I'd rather be struggling in San Diego and yet be happy and feel at home and be understood. Then be in Holland with an ok life and financial situation but not be truly happy because I don't feel like this is were I belong and fit in.
Cause let's all admit it folks. I don't really fit in in Holland. I do love all my friends here and my family. But this life isn't satisfying for me.

So even though my trip to the States is over and the reason for this weblog. I'm going to keep it going for round two. My biggest adventure yet to come...

"I'm leaving on a jetplane"

"Don't know when I'll be back again..."
"You know, I hate to goooo....."

Trying to pack my bags right now, but I realized that I bought way to much crap while here and hardly anythin fits. Awesome...

Cale and Rhiannon are both working today but we will probably be going to a party tonight. That gives me a chance to see everyone before I go as well. I'm going to miss all my friends and family here so much... But it's not forever is what I have to keep telling myself.

Not going to be a long entree. Still need to get the rest of my packing done. And I really dont want to spend my last day behind the computer.

See You All Soon

Sad sadder Saddest

That's me, right now. It's Wednesday 5 pm. Tomorrow is my last day here and I just feel like I'm dragging my heart on the ground. I haven't even packed my bags yet because it'll just depress me even more.

But at the same time I really want to see everybody again. And it would be great to be able to go to a bar and order a beer without having to lie about my age, haha. I just hope I can get a job asap because I'm as broke as can be. Credit cards will do that to you. As soon as I get back it's going to the back off my wallet.

Just all, don't be offended if I'm sad when I get back. Nothing to do with you, promise...

Owh, and from who was that second comment? Have some idea, but no, not really...

And peeps, I tried to send you all a text back. Hope you got them...
Love you all long time....

A lot

So, a lot has been happening since my last blog. For starters, last Monday my sister and her boyfriend arrived here in San Diego. They weren't supposed to get here till Friday, but there plans got screwed up and they got here earlier. Which would have been fine hadn't it been for the fact that I have been sleeping on the couch ever since. See, they are staying in my room and so I sleep in the living room on the couch. So I'm basically the last one to go to bed and one of the first ones to wake up after Rhiannon. The first couple of nights were hell and after that it just got way worse. I swear I haven't slept decently since they got here.

On Friday I went on a dinner cruise with Rhiannon, Cale, Dave, Shardae and Mark. It was so much fun I can't even tell you. Rhiannon, Cale and Dave work on the boat, so I guess it's all blabla to them. But I loved it... I love boats. The view is beautiful, but I had seen it before when I had gone into work with Rhiannon the Sunday before they came. I was her 'trainee' cruise director. unofficially of course. Cause I wasn't really aloud to be there. But I ended up working a lot and driving the boat. Awesome. I missed work.
Anyways, after the dinner on the cruise they opened the dance floor and Rhiannon, Shardae and I just went to town. I found the guts to ask Dave to dance with me as well and that was perfect. He's a good (slow) dancer.

Then on Saturday Rhiannon, Cale and I went to the zoo. Rhiannon had bought season-passes for her and Cale and they got 2 free tickets with that. So I ended up not having to pay for it. Which is great seeing as in I'm nearing the end of my trip and am almost broke. We saw all the animals worth seeing and it was great fun. I had forgotten how great the zoo could be. But especially San Diego Zoo. It's so big and beautiful. At the end of the day all Rhiannon and I could do was complain about our feet hurting though. Before we got to the zoo we were planning on going to the Brewers vs Padres game. But we were so dead beat that we didn't go. We ended up having dinner at this new BBQ-place called Jack's. Great food, gotta love it.

Then Sunday we went and visited with my uncle Steve, whom I haven't seen since my last time here almost 9 years ago. I loved him. He's so much fun. The rest of the family too. They took us to this 'chocolate fest' down in Vista. There wasn't to much chocolate there though. Which is probably for the best. But I got to spend time with Justin and Austin again and got to meet his wife, Tammy, and her two kids. They are so great.

Today was memorial day. Which is like the Dutch 'dodenherdenking'. They remember all the victims of war. All the brave men and women who have fought for this country. But to most people it's just a holiday. Everyone is off of work, except of course the recreational jobs, and it's mostly about BBQ-ing, going to the beach and drinking. An extra day off in the week.
Uncle Harry surprised us today by calling and saying he was in town. He was going to meet Shardae and Mark up in Vegas but decided to drive up to SD in stead and drive them down to there and then spend the weekend. So I got to see him again. He is so easygoing. I love him. He was only here for a couple of hours, with his daugther Stacie. But yah, love him. Should stay in touch with him more.

So Shardae and Mark are leaving tomorrow morning. early, around 9 o'clock in the morning. Harry will be here to pick them up. Then they are off to Vegas and then Utah. I'm still going to be in SD, the place of my dreams. The place where my heart lies. I love it here.

Well, I guess that gets you all up to date.

Until the next time...



UPDATE:

WHAT IS IT WITH GUYS... WHY DO THEY INSIST ON TRYING TO TURN US GIRLS INTO THEIR DAMN BITCHES!!!!
IS THERE ANY NORMAL/SANE MAN OUT THERE IN THE WORLD!!!!!
If there is, please point me in that direction....

Disney and Fox

So I have some things to tell you guys. I was too lazy the last couple of days to post anything. But I have been doing a lot. For starters, I'm back in San Diego. I'm not going to lie, I was so home sick for here, it's good to be back. I loved spending time with my family in Winnetka, LA though. I miss them already.

Sammi and I went to Disneyland on Tuesday. She sort of had a date with Jake. Sammi's mom goes to Apple bee's every Friday and he's a waiter there and so Viki (Sammi's mom) set her up with him. He is cute though, so it could be worse. Disney land was fun, but owh my god. Jake had brought a friend so we wouldn't be with an odd number. But that guy... I had to restrain myself not to smack him the whole day. He was so damn annoying. He couldn't shut up and thought he was 'the man' so bad, it was pathetic. Because he wasn't 'the man' nor will he ever be. My god, Sammi and I got home at the end of the day and realized that neither of us even bothered to remember his name. We're still drawing a blank on that one...

We didn't get home till about 8 pm that night. Everybody had of course already eaten, so Sammi and I sat down together to eat amazing BBQ-ed baby-back-ribs. My uncle makes great ones. And Mac and Cheez. Gotta love your Mac and Cheez. I know I do, haha.

The next day uncle Ronnie took us to Fox Studio's. It was his last day of work on this movie (Die hard 4) and he had to take care of some things. So beat Frutiger, the art director for that movie, and Starship Dave (new Eddie Murphy comedy), took us on a little tour. We got to see most of the set of Starship Dave and almost met Eddie. Yes almost, so I didn't really.

But ya, the people who really know me well, know that I would love to work in the Hollywood scene, but that I also love design and architecture. Well, I found out how to combine the two. I'm going to try to be a Set designer. First I thought about Production designer, but I don't know. It takes a lot to get to there. But ya, set designer. I asked beat and he told me what I basically need to do to get there and he also said that I could always contact him if I had any questions. See, contacts already. But for Set designer, this study that I'm going to do for interior and exterior design and architecture is the right way to go. he says you basically don't need to go to college to get there. You just start at the bottom, either way. But it does help to be able to draw and shit. He started the same way. So, even though I love San Diego, I'll have to move to LA. But I'll still only be 1,5 hours away by car and so Rhi and I already said that we can see each other almost every weekend, haha.

When I left for my uncle and aunt's house last week Tuesday, I thought Rhiannon and Cale would be relieved and sort of glad to have me gone so they would have the house to themselves again. But Rhiannon told me that she was really really sad when I left and didn't want me to go. Which makes it harder for me in a way because I also don't want to go. But I have to. And what's a couple of years on a human life, right.

Owh ya, that reminds me. I need a job when I get back. So if anybody knows anything, feel free to tell me. I can work full time for the first couple of months, after that part time.

Well, got to go. get some exercise and take a shower and all.

Let's Go Dodgers

Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd;
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
I don't care if I never get back.
Let me root, root, root for the DODGERS,
If they don't win, it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game.

My uncle Ronnie (Butch) took me, Shardae and Mark to a Dodger game today. They played the ST. Louis Cardinals, who where national champions last year. So ya, they did lose 8-4. But I blame Tomko. He's one of the pitchers, and I guess it just wasn't his day. He had 7 runners in 2 innings. That's when the coach grew a brain and decided to trade him. But it was so great being there. And I got to see Jeff Kent hit his 350th Home Run in his career. He's actually an in-fielder, but also a very good batter.

We had amazing seats. If you look at this picture here of the stadium, you can (in the yellow on the right) see the number 20. Way up in the front of that, near the field, we were seated. About a yard or 2 from first base. Even closer to the dug out. Only sucked that it was the Cardinals dug out and not the Dodgers. But, I always liked the game. But right now,I'm a fan. I've never been this excited about a game, haha... Of course, you cant help but love the Dodgers. But if it would have been Dodgers vs. Padres. I'd be rooting for Padres. Who, BTW, won 7-1 from Cin today. But that's not the reason I'd be rooting for them. The main reason being. It's the San Diego team.

I like LA and all. But I wouldn't want to live here. San Diego, ya, definitely want to life there!!!!! But you already knew that of course. Anyways, here is a picture of a great baseball player...

Jeff Kent from the LA Dodgers.... (and the crowd goes wild)....(well, I am, hihi)

I'd better be off to bed now. Going to Disneyland tomorrow with Sammi and a guy her mom set her up with ad this other guy he's bringing. Should be fun, we will all be strangers to each other. I mean. Sammi and I only just got to know each other and we don't really know both these guys. They will be the only ones who know each other. Beside the point though. Point being, I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow. Down side is that I have to get up at 7.30, so (knowing myself) set my alarm at 7, so we can leave at 9. (Yes, I need that long to get ready, if it's me waking up early you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to be under the shower trying to wake up for at least half an hour, if not longer).. So I will definitly have to take some PM pills tonight to get at least a bit of sleep. Cause, my god. Is my insomnia bad right now. And I need some rest, especially if I'm going to hang out with Lindsay tomorrow evening as well. Busy Busy Busy. So many fun things to do and so little time... hihi....

Venice Beach and Santa Monica Pier

World Known Venice Beach. That's where Ronnie and Viki took us to today. It was how I expected it to be. Maybe a bit to windy today for my liking. But still warm and lots of little shopping places. But, with all the strength in my body I stopped myself from buying anything there. Actually, I was going to buy a really cool sweatshirt that I have seen a couple of times before already and really want. But they either didn't have the color I wanted or the size I need. I guess for the best. It stopped me from spending money again. Hard though. There were so many stores there with sunglasses and tees and jewelry. But... I made it... hihi. Of course we saw (the fake) Jimmy Hendrix there. On roller blades. He's in a lot of movies shot at Venice Beach. Because he is always there. Playing his guitar, roller blading along the boardwalk. And the bums there provided us with some entertainment as well. Bum Fight!!!! Not way exciting though. We kept waiting for them to lash out at each other. But no, just a whole lotta F*ck you/get the f*ck away/it's a f*cking free boardwalk/I f*cking know it's a f*cking free boardwalk, but get the f*ck away from me/f*ck you/no f*ck you.... I swear, these people have a great vocabulary. Very bright and original, haha.

And we saw Muscle Beach of course. The weightlifters gym out side on the beach. I expect you all to have heard of this before. But ya, a whole lotta guys there that aren't even able to tie there own shoelaces because of all the muscles. Or keep there arms beside their bodies because of all the muscles in there arms and there owh so trained ugly, way to big abs.
























After that we got the car and drove down the road to World Famous Santa Monica Pier. I couldn't believe Shardae was all shocked about the fact that they had a roller coaster ride and ferris wheel and what not there. That's what Santa Monica Pier is all about. That's what the pier is known for. Without that it would be just another pier. Not the longest or the widest or the prettiest in the prettiest part of the West Coast, but just another pier. But then again. She never was that interested in American Culture. Except if it were Indians that is. And she got her fill of that down at Venice Beach. Half of the shops and stands there where filled with Indian stuff. But still, I thought she would know what to expect, seeing as in she watches so many movies and stuff. Because ya, Santa Monica Pier is shown in a whole lotta Movies and TV-Series. We didn't go onto any rides or anything though. The first reason being, the wind was picking up and it was getting quit cold. We defiantly weren't dressed for a windy environment. And the second reason was, Pica came with us. There little Yorkshire Terrier. Very Cute!!!

Going to watch a movie now. Army of Darkness. Ronnie just came back from getting Ice cream at Baskin Robins. Which is the best Ice cream ever. And yet, I told him I didn't want any. Stupid little me. But ya. Doing good today. Only had one cheeseburger for lunch and skipped the one for dinner, haha. Had a nice tropical salad for dinner. Just not hungry today. Could be because I'm so damn burned. Yes ladies and gentlemen... I am burnt. For the first time in my life, really sunburned. Not just a little red on the nose, for one day. But my legs and tummy are sore and hurting and red and ya, burnt. So, I guess its payback for all the times I snickered when other people where complaining about being burnt. Should have put sunblock on everywhere and not just my nose and shoulders I guess. With this damn wind you just don't notice when you burn. And lying on a raft in the pool all day sure as hell doesn't help. My own damn fault. Right the movie started already. I'm missing the beginning. Damn... gotta go....

Hollyweird

Viki took us to see Hollywood yesterday. We walked the walk of fame and went into a lot of stores. I bought way to much crap again. I actually bought a bag because it matches my wallet and cigarette case. I bought the cigarette case because it matches my wallet. Of course there was another pair of sunglasses to be bought... can't have too many of those.

I didn't find the one name I was looking for on the Walk of Fame though. That name being James Dean. I love that actor. Sucks that he died so young. Owh, and if you don't know who he is... Shame on you and go watch Rebel Without A Cause. Love that movie.

Shardae and Mark where in heaven seeing as in they have so many goth-shops/rock-shops there. It was nice though. Viki and I had driven them mad the day before in the mall, buying shoes and such. So it was their turn to go into every store on Hollywood Blvd.

There are a lot of tattoo and piercing shops there as well. And almost every store we went into had lovely bellybutton piercings. I always wanted one. So I got one. Yup, that's right. I volunteered to have a needle stuck into me. Or rather, through me. It still hurts a bit. But its nice. I got a fancy one, not some stupid ring. I like it. But, ya, AUWH. Not so much the needle, as the stupid ass clamp they use. And the guy who did it had no character what so ever. Shinny and Bright, not so much...

But my phone is full of pictures of stars now. (The stars on the walk of course, not the actual ones). Was a good day yesterday. Even though I did spend wwaaaayyyy to much money. Yet again. They have therapies for Shopaholics right? Maybe there's a SA meeting for me to go to (hihi).

Winnetka/LA

Dave came by the house around 12.30 on Tuesday to pick me up and drop me off at the train station. I was so excited about getting to Winnetka and seeing Ronnie and Viki and there two kids for the first time in my life and to be re-united with my sister Shardae. The excitement faded a bit after 4 and a half hours of waited for my train which was delayed. Apparently a woman had thrown herself in front of a train earlier that morning. So all trains where delayed due to the 'accident'. But I finally got to Chatsworth where Viki, Shane and Sammi were there waiting for me. Ronnie had gone to pick up Shardae and Mark at the airport in LA. Winnetka, where we are now, is just out of LA.

There house is lovely. Big pool in the backyard and a hot tub. A famous hot tub at that. I sat in the hot tub used on the set of the movie 'Fun with Dick and Jane' starring Jim Carey. I sat in the same hot tub as Jim Carey, hihi. Shardae, Mark and I are sleeping in the trailer in the front driveway. It's a big ass trailer called, guess this, The Dutchmen. Not even done on purpose. Funny though.

I'm hitting it off well with the family. It's good seeing them and getting to know them. Viki is so funny and Ronnie is so laid back. Shane is your typical moody teenage boy (but sweet) and Sammi is a lovely young girl. I so wish we would have grown up together. I think we could have been the best of friends.

Anyways, the weather is wonderfully warm/hot right now. So what better to do than taking another dip in the pool.

Making anyone jealous yet? Cause ya ll know ya should be right.....?! haha....

Vista

On Saturday, around 1 pm, Elizabeth and her two boys came and picked me up at the house. I couldn't wait to see them The last time I saw them all was in 1998, if I'm not mistaken. Austin was just a baby then. He's so big now. And what an energy the kid has. Justin is the shy one. He's so sweet though. I loved seeing them again.
I was with Elizabeth mostly. We watched movies together and talked and talked and talked. I love that woman. She and I will be going to Vegas together. I told her I would call her as soon as I get back from Ronnie and Viki's. We went to the mall yesterday and she bought me a really cute little short sleeved, brown jacket and a brown belt to go with it. I bought myself two more pairs of sunglasses. What can you do. It was a special, 1 for 12 USD and 2 for 20 USD. Gotta get 2 pairs then, right. I had so much fun. Got some nice pictures of the boys as well. I swear, my wallet is filled with pictures, not money, haha.

Right now I have to get my bags packed. Thank God Rhiannon has a little suitcase I can borrow. Then I won't have to take my big ass one. Dave will be taking me to the train station tomorrow, the sweet man, and then I'll be getting on my train at 3 pm. I have one layover in LA and then I'll be getting on another train to Chatsworth. When I arrive there around 8 pm Viki will be there to pick me up. Can't wait to see them. I never really met them. So many people here that I feel close to but have never met before. And I don't feel nervous about meeting them either (anymore). I hit it of great with Dawn even though I had never met her before. I hit it of great with Austin even though he was just a baby last time I saw him and I hit it of great with his mom, Elizabeth, even though I had only seen her for a day in life. And I'm pretty sure I'll hit it of great with Ronnie and Viki. I talked to Ronnie on the phone and he seems like on of the warmest people ever. So excited about Shardae and me coming.

I can't wait to see Shardae again. I haven't seen her in about 8 weeks. I miss her. She's one of my best friends, not just my sister. So excited. Better get my bag packed and my room cleaned up. It's a mess.

Dirty Dancing

20 years ago worlds best dance movie came out in theaters. On the 1st and 2de of May 2007 they celebrated the anniversary of this, still, very popular movie by showing it in theaters again. Dirty Dancing on the big screen. For me, this was a no-brainer. I was going... I bought two tickets for the may 2de. The second ticket was for Rhiannon. Not that she's a fan. But I sure as hell am.

They started the showing with a sort of documentary, which was just a bit to long. Then the movie started. And the crowd went wild. No kidding. Obviously 99% of the audience was female and they seriously cheered and clapped and yelled. It was funny... It was so good seeing the movie on big screen. You seriously see all kind of new stuff. Even if you've already seen the movie hundreds of times before. It was so nice seeing it in a theater though. It's a whole different experience. Loved it!!!!!!!

On My Own

So I ventured out on my own today. I took the bus to Fashion valley. One of the best shopping malls around here. I swear, I'm in love. There was a Louis Veton shop, and a Burberry and a Bloomingdale's (there restrooms are worth more than this house) and Gucci. So I went in all these shops and got myself into a bit of a state. Seeing all these things I really really want and not being able to buy them.... It's great motivation to get a good education and career in life so you can afford it all. And besides that there were 'normal' stores. Old navy, and this other store that looked a lot like a H&M and so I bought some really nice things there. Shopping is the best therapy ever. And lets face it. Everybody can use a good therapy-session, even when your life is peachy. And the bus wasn't to bad. It takes about an half an hour to get there. It's not to far walking to the bus stop either. And it gives me something to do. Besides walking the dogs that is.

I actually know almost the whole neighbourhood here now. It's nice. I'm not as afraid to get lost. Because, lets face it, my orientation sense isn't the best in the world. Like, on of the worst really. Even in the mall today, I almost got lost. You can't really get lost, there's so many people there to ask directions to. But I just kept walking the wrong way after walking out of a store. Anyways, not the point I was trying to make. The point I was trying to make is, that I'm always afraid to get lost because that's something I do. It comes natural to me. But now that I'm getting more familiar with the neighbourhood, and actually the whole city, I dare to venture out on my own a little more and not stay at home and stuff. But, ya, Chevie, the dog... So disappointed today. I didn't take them to the park. Poor thing. The weather wasn't that whoohoo today anyways. Warm ya, but cloudy. Without the sun it's only half the fun going to the park. You can't lay in the sun when the sun isn't there, right.

Owh, if anybody else needs me to bring anything back for them from here, tell me know!!!!! OK?

OK....

Just another day

So, I started the babysitting job yesterday... The times changed though, so I was only there from 3.30 till 5.30 pm. Just 2 hours and still I got 30 bucks for it. Not a bad deal if I say so myself. And Amy's kids are great. Her sons name is Carlin, he's 10 years old. And her daughters name is Danielle, she is 6 years old. Such a sweet girl. I was actually extremely overpaid seeing as in the are really sweet kids, that basically entertain themselves and after 45 minutes there, Carlin was picked up for baseball practise so I just had to watch Danielle. How hard can it be to entertain a 6 year old. I tell you, not hard at all. Just let them do all the talking and the showing.

It was so sweet though, when the grandmother came home I could go home. When I said goodbye Danielle gave me a hug and asked me if I would come back again. I guess she liked me then. Such a pretty girl too. Really sweet. This might be the easiest job ever. And one of the best paid ones that's for sure. I hope Amy calls me soon saying she needs my services again...

I was planning on taking the dogs for a walk again this morning, but I had another one of my cleaning frenzies and ended up cleaning the walls in the shower, seriously... How exciting can life be right, haha. And by the time I was done it was 1 o'clock already and that means it's the warmest time in the day. And Chevie was still pooped from the walk yesterday and the day before (pansy), so I figured I would give the dogs a break. That is, we're going for a walk around 4 and not in the morning, haha. See if Chevie survives it. Niko has been OK with it so far. And I definitely need the exercise. All that Mexican food has put on a lot of weight. So I have been dieting. The problem with dieting though, is that whenever you try to eat less, food becomes a obsession and everything looks and sounds good and all you really want is to eat a juicy, greasy cheeseburger...

One thing I am doing though, is cutting down on my smoking... yeeh me.... The first two days weren't the best, but after that it gets easy to just smoke one to 3 a day or even none at all... How proud am I of me... But seriously the combination of cutting down on smoking and dieting. How bad a time is my body having now right....hihi.... Owh well, Like my mom always says; "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"....

Gotta get ready for the walk now... Rhi gave me directions to a park yesterday, might take them there. But I do need to get home on time for dinner though. We're going out for Sushi again!!!! yeeh.... So that gives me about an hour to walk, then a half an hour to get shower and get ready... hmmm... People who know me, also know that I'll never make it... But sure as hell am going to try, hihi..... Race against the clock, always fun...

And I need the walk to get some stress and tiredness out of my body as well. Woke up this morning wanting to go back to sleep (insomnia kept me up again) but when I looked up at the ceiling there was a big spider there. Right over my bed. Just sitting there, staring at me with it's beady eyes while slightly moving it's legs, causing me to completely freak out, jump out of bed, grab the vacuum, vacuum him up and them the whole rest of the room just to be sure the damn thing died in there...... and then it was impossible for me to go to sleep again, obviously... (sigh)

So, a little update. Rhiannon and I found the best Sushi place EVER!!!!! Seriously though, it was busy there so we had to wait in line to get in, but it was so worth it. And eventhough we were like 5th in line we only had to wait like 10 minutes. Then we got saited and we noticed that it was Happy Hour. So that only made it even cheaper. But seriously, we had a little thing of Saki which was good for 4 shots in total, a beer, water, an ice-tea, 2 little shrimp-eggrolls, miso-soup, green beans, beef-something and 3 rolls of sushi in total. (One roll is good for 8 pieces of Sushi). And then we got the bill.... which was only 26 something dollars. Owh my g.. How cheap is that, right. And by the by, we didn't eat it all, we had a doggiebag (well actually a little box) so Cale had it for breakfast this morning. I know, who in there right mind eats fish in the morning right... Well, obviously, he does...

After Sushi we drove to Hollywood Video and rented two movies. We haven't watched them yet though. We started talking again and later Cale came home. We called Dave and talked him into coming over as well. So we didn't get to bed till like 5 in the morning once more. Don't you just love weekends. Rhiannon and I were going to take the dogs for a walk again this morning, but we decided against it. Seeing as in we didn't even have a morning, really. I got out of bed at 2 pm, got me some tea and then crawled back into bed. I swear I'm hungry right now. Only had a bit of Apple Jacks this morning. Without the milk though. My body doesn't do well with milk... Owh well. Beter start thinking about dinner though....

Love ya all...

Job, sunday night

So I finally got myself a little job here. Babysitting... I start Thursday for one of Cale and Rhi's colleagues. Whom I can get along with great as well. Her kids are a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Basically I just need to be there for when they get home from school (12) up until the point there Grandma comes home at 5 pm. I get 40 dollars for it. So good deal I'm guessing. And it's going to be on a regular basis, so that will get me some extra money. That's all good.

Last night Amy (the mom I'm going to be babysitting for), Dave and Berkan came by after work. Rhiannon had already been drinking a bit seeing as in it would be her last weekday (or next day being one) to do so. I wasn't feeling to well. Had been throwing up the night before for no apparent reason. (I hadn't been drinking for a couple of days, so it couldn't be that). So I took it easy last night, for a while. I think I was the most sober person there. Around 4 am we all started to get hungry. So Dave and Berkan went out to get us some food. They came back with nothing because everything was closed. That sucked big time. But just then Amy had a brain fart and thought of..... Denny's. So we went to this other breakfast place that's a lot like Denny's and is open 24/7. I'm telling you a bacon burger is at it's best at 5 o'clock in the morning. Cale practically passed out in the dinner... funny. The lady serving us didn't think it was funny though, having 5 people drunk in the dinner. But what do you expect at that time. When you work that shift you can expect drunk people and coppers. Which were there too. Berkan had gone home already though. He had to be up in 2,5 hours, poor thing. But we had a blast. I finally lay my head down on my pillow by the time the sun came up and the birds were tjirping. And of course, woke up hungry 8 hours later....

Black Out

I swear, it was scary. Around 10 pm last night all of the sudden all lights and everything else electronic went out. Rhiannon and I both do not like the dark so we were holding hands in complete darkness trying to find some light. We found a lighter, that didn't work and some candles that were burned out. We got to light one candle and use that to find some more. So one big thing on the shopping list is, candles... We found 5 candles in total and made due with that. All you can really do is sit around and wait for the lights to come back on. We were so bored after a while, that we played I spy... seriously...

Rhiannon was going to pick up Cale from work around 11.30 so we waited around till then and I told her I was coming with her. No way was I going to sit around in a darkened house with nothing to do all by myself. They say that the crime rate is highest during a blackout... So we drove to the harbor and picked up Cale and when we got back the lights were on again, thank god. I hate blackouts. Not being able to just put a light on whenever you want to see. You couldn't even see your hand when holding it up in front of your face, it was so dark...

It makes you miss a lot of things too. No wonder people went to bed so early in the olden days. You can't watch TV, because there's no power. You can't read, cause there isn't enough light. All you can do is sit and talk and play stupid things like I spy which wasn't a big success for two reasons. One, it's a lame game. Two, you couldn't even tell the colors apart because of the darkness. Seriously....

Rhiannon just left for one of her last days of work at Harbor Excursions. She's cruise-directing this one and then she works tomorrow morning for the last time before starting her new job on Tuesday...

We had gone to Sea World two days ago and I got to see Shamu... The famous killer wale. It was nice... The weather was great. As it is today. But seriously, yesterday it came poring down like there was no tomorrow. It only happens a couple of days a year here that it rains and storms so much. So I guess people here appreciate the bad weather more than we would back in Holland.

Later that night (on Thursday) I went to a Mexican club called Dolce with Dave. A good friend of Rhi's with whom I can really get along great with. It was an Okay club I guess. I'm more the bar kind of girl and not really a club goer. But it was sort of both. They had some live-bands and after that they played techno. I was just lucky to be able to get in seeing as in I am underage here. But a friend of Dave, named Dave (go figure) got me in. Apparently he goes there every weekend and knows the guys that work there, so he can get anyone in. The people there were so slutty though. Seriously... The girls wore dresses that didn't even cover there asses and the guys... let's just say if we were in a comic-strip and there were thought balloons. All the guys would be thinking, 'I'm the man'.

We were planning on going to TJ on Friday, but there was some big shoot-out near the area where we wanted to go and two cops were killed, so we decided to take a rain check. Not a good plan to be going there when all kind of shit is going down... So I don't know when we are going now. Will have to set a new date, because we're only going with Dave seeing as in he's Mexican and all and knows Spanish. That would help a lot. TJ isn't the safest place for two girls alone. Or any number of girls as a matter of fact. But still, I want to see it.

OB

I went down to OB today with Dale. It was lots of fun. We played horseshoes with Vanessa and Brian and I met this other girl Lisa and her boyfriend Tommy. After Vanessa and Brian totally kicked our ass in Horseshoes we just sat on the beach and talked while looking at the ocean and the surfers on the waves. It was nice and peaceful and I felt at ease. I was just so tired because of our lovely neighbour starting drilling and sanding at 7 o'clock in the morning. Not great...

Owh, did you know that the pier at OB is the longest of the whole west coast? It is...

After the beach Dale drove me back to my place. We sat and watched TV for a little while but we soon started to get hungry. I had only eaten a small bowl of cereal myself all day. So he took me out to dinner at this cute little Mexican restaurant down on El Cajon Boulevard. It was nice. It was defiantly good getting out of the house and just sitting at the beach. I love the beach!!! And Rhiannon hasn't been feeling well the last couple of days. So this gave me something to do and Rhi time to relax a bit before going into work. This way she didn't have to worry about me being entertained or not, like I know she does a lot. But really... She shouldn't worry about making me happy so much. It's not good for her...

Anyways, I had a great time today. OB (Ocean Beach) is so pretty. And I learned how to play horseshoes and Dale learned that I'm a lousy aim. We all learnt something today.

I win

So last night was fun. Rhiannon only had to work till like 5 pm, so she and I met up with David and Robert (which I would meet for the first time) to go out and eat Sushi. And it was about the best Sushi ever... The best part about it was that the waitress didn't ID us but just said, 'I assume you are all over 21 right'. Of course we all said 'YES'. So I had a bunch of Saki, which isn't as strong as I remember it though. After dinner we went back to Rhi's house and later Dani, Damion and a friend of his, Skyler joined us in a game of poker. Let's say Damien hates me now because I kicked his butt big time. I came out the winner of the game... bring on the cheers...

After poker we played a different game with dice. The rule is that you have 3 throws. But you have to have at least a 1 in your throw in order to keep the dice. The trick is to get as many dice as possible with the same amount of eyes in as less as possible throws. The single eye, so the 1, is a wild. This means it matches every other dice. The rules, which are hard to explain beside the point, Damien really hated me after that because I won again. So then we decided to play blackjack, and I won almost every round... again. I think I might have scarred Damien's manly hood. Hihi....

Really, if we would have been in a real casino, or if we would have played for money. I would have been rich by now. It was all good yesterday. Cale came home late from work and wanted to go to sleep though, so everyone was out of the house around 12 o'clock or a little later. I cleaned up a bit and set off for bed. But once again I couldn't sleep. I stayed lying awake in my bed till almost 3 o'clock and then I woke up again around 6 am. Not that great. Eventually I fell back asleep again though. And now it's like almost 2 pm. I've only been awake for an hour...

Published again

So I guess everything is coming together for me over here. When it comes to my poetry for sure. Not only did I get a letter yesterday from an American publishing company stating that they want to publish my poem Birth. Today I got an e-mail from a British publishing company. They had read the poem that was being published this spring (so I guess the book's on the market now) and they want me to submitt a poem for publication as well. It's going to be an international edition, meaning my poem can be read all over the world. How great is that. the publication won't be till 2008, but it's awsome. I'm so happy with this. Already published in one book and 2 others lined up. And I've only been writing poetry seriously for about a year. I guess I am a lucky girl in some ways...

I just don't have a poem lined up yet that I want to submit yet, so I'm going to be busy for the next couple of days writing another classic, haha. Should be fun. Cale and Rhi are headed to work right now, so I'll have some peace and quiet :p.

Not really, I've got loads to do. Real loads, as in laundry. And movies have to be taken back to the video store, and the bathroom really needs to be cleaned. And then I can sit down and write my poem. I have a few unfinished ones, I think I'll just work on them. But of course I can't get anything done while sitting behind the computer typing this load of crap.

But isn't it great when I actually have real news to share and not just bull about what I did on a day... (hihi)

BBQ and BBQ

So we Cale and I did go to the BBQ Sunday. It was nice enough but weird. Everybody there worked together or were related. So it was a lot of boat stuff and such which I don't know that much about. Well, I know a little more about it know. I got to meet some new people again. There was this one guy there, who is a Turkish immigrant. He knows nothing about the American history. He seriously got me wondering how he got citizenship. I knew way more than he did about it. I think he might be one of the only people in the world who did not know about the 4th of July or what thanksgiving is about. Seriously...

We had yet another BBQ on Monday, so yesterday. It was way better weather than it was the day before and lots of fun. Twon, the neighbor was here around 4 pm and the rest of the people came about 5 or 6 pm. Danielle, Rhiannon's best friend I had met already and I get along great with her. David is Rhi's former roommate and I get along great with him as well. Besides Cale and Rhi, David is one of the people I see most around here. There were some new faces there as well. Bryan and Vanessa and Bryan's best friend Dale. They too work on the boat and Rhiannon had invited them so I could meet Dale. A single, 22 year old guy. I met him, we got along. Whatever, right...

I'll tell you one thing though. I'm not drinking for at least a while. God I was sick today. Tip: don't mix tequila, almond champagne, wine and beer. It's a recipe for a disaster. As I would find out at 6 o'clock this morning. Great.... My stomach is so mad at me. But it's all good. I'm still happy, haha. Owh but really, Almond Champagne is the best. Try it... Little amounts though... haha.

I had today gotten an e-mail from Poetry.com again. I'm nominated for Poet of the year. In order to really be able to win you have to go to the convention though. That July 19-22. You get to read your own poem up on stage and they got artist to perform as well. The events will be in Las Vegas, Nevada. In hotel Riviera on the strip. There's a problem though. I will be back in Holland by then, for just a month. So I won't be able to get enough money together for my plane ticket and the convention. I then there's still the hotel to consider, which would bring me to a grand total of about 1500 dollars. No way I can raise that kind of money in a month. So I'll have to bypass it. A nomination, for poet of the year. Shit... But who knows, maybe there will be others, right.

plans

I just finished reading the comment an anonymous person had left by my last post. I sure would like to know who wrote it. It really touched me. So, Thank you, to that person.

It's Easter Sunday today. My first Easter not to spend with my parents and sisters. As I hear it Shardae isn't going to be home for Easter either. It's hard on my mom. She feels like she only has one child at home now. Anyways, happy Easter everyone.

I'm settling in more and more here. Even though not all my days are exciting and full, it are good days just for being here. I'm thinking about getting a volunteer job here. Just for one or two days a week to keep myself busy when Rhi and Cale are working. And to meet some new people and such. Sort of get a life started for myself here. That would be great. I can't believe I've been in the states for 4 weeks already. It's even harder to believe that I don't feel homesick at all. I'm dreading the day I have to leave here already. But it's better not think about that too much. That would only ruin my trip, thinking about the end. I always wanted to learn to just live one day at a time. And I'm starting to learn it. I don't have every day planned out in detail anymore. Most of the time I don't even know what I'm going to be doing the next day. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm going to do the next hour. But it's all good. I was to planned, you know. Having lists of everything that needed to be done, time schedules for every day. I'd even schedule a day of leisure. Go figure... Right now, I can honestly say that I'm being lazy. And I haven't had a real chance to be lazy for a while. So it's all good. Just this week though. Next week, so starting tomorrow, I'm going to start jogging every morning. This time for real. And I'm going to start my diet. I'm going to write poems again and get my scrapbook organized.

Well, I wasn't that lazy yesterday night. I did shopping, made my dinner, washed the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen and washed Niko, the dog. How fun was that. I had to pick up the dog and put her under the shower. She struggled for a little bit but then just stood there. Unwilling to move at all and looked all sad like: Just get it over with. I thought the poor dog would be mad at me. But as soon as I dried her of she was really hyper and all she wanted to do was play and be pet. Cute dog, and white again instead of grey.

Right now Rhi, Cale and I just got back from Breakfast and grocery shopping. Rhi is getting ready for work and Cale is watching TV. We had plans to go to a BBQ today, but it's raining outside and we don't know if we could get a ride back home after we get there. See, I'm not aloud to drive because I don't have my license. Cale's not aloud to drive because his license was pulled for a full year. So Rhi's the one driving us around the whole time. Wish I were aloud to drive. It would make it so much easier. But even if I had my license, I'd need a California one and not my Dutch one and I'd need (expensive) insurance. Doesn't really seem worth it. I mean, I have a bike here and all...

Maybe I'll go jogging now. It's not raining that hard. Just a little drizzle and I could use the exercise. I'm getting fat... With all the Mexican food here, how can you not gain weight, haha.

little note / tribute

I haven't really been doing much last couple of days. Just taking it nice and easy. I'm so GD tierd. I can't get to sleep at night (or just don't) and I keep waking up early. Not good. But I'm haveing a great time. Rhiannon and I walked around a bit today so I know were everything is. That way if they both need to work I know were the stores are if I don't feel like cooking. It's all pretty close. Best thing, I got to drive again today. Only a couple of blocks. But damn, feels good to be around a wheel again. Automatic though, no stickshift. So way easy. Nice...
I had great mexican today, then great pizza with great beer, with great tv and great company. I couldn't be happier than I have been since I got here. This is my heaven...

update 5 am: I stayed up all night talking to Rhiannon. We just talked about our family and our feelings, about home and belonging. It was a great talk. I have learnt alot about my family here since I set foot on American soil and expect to learn lots more. It's not all pretty, but it's my family. It's good to know exactly where you come from. It helps figuring out where you're going. It's all good. Even the bad.

I just wanted to pay a tribute to my mom. A woman I love and respect very much and who has always been there for me. Mama, thank you for being the strong and caring person that you are. I love you with all my heart and will always be gratefull for what you have done for me and my sisters over the years.
I also wanted to pay a tribute to my dad. My rock. The one man I can always depend on. Who has stood by me and my mom and my sisters for all that it's worth. For giving us all that he can. I love you!!!!!

Fishy

Cale, Stu (a friend of theirs), Rhiannon and I set out today around noon to the bay. We bought tickets to board the dolphin, a boat and we rented rods. We were going fishing! It was my first time ever, not theirs though. I was so glad I dressed warmly. It can get very cold out on the boat, out on open water.

After sailing out for a bit, the captain stopped the boat and we could start putting our lines in the water. What you did was go to this sort of tank in the middle of the back deck to get yourself a bate fish. This were sardines and anchovies. The key was to get a real feisty one that would attract bigger fish. One of those little buggers caught me a mackerel. I got to rockfish as well, but they were even smaller then the bate fish. These were attracted to the squid that was on the second hook on my line. Half the time I didn't know if I caught a fish or not. But it was way fun. The boat sailed out around 12 o'clock and didn't return till 5 pm. It was messy though. The stupid bate fish would jump out of the tank and onto the deck and just flop around there. Some of them we tried to save by trowing them into the water of the wide open sea, only to be eaten by the seagulls and pelicans. The other fish that once flopped on the deck were tread upon by the other fishermen and lay scattered about. I did my best not to step on them. the biggest reason being that it is extremely grouse to have fish guts stuck under your shoes. Other bate fish that did go onto the lines were more likely to be eaten by a sea lion than by a bigger fish. (There was a beautiful dolphin out there as well). The rule was, change your bate fish every few minutes. They don't move around as much after a while. So many were thrown into the sea.
And even though the fishing was great fun. I did feel a bit sorry for the poor things. But they didn't die without a porpoise. I never had better fish. The deckhand there cleaned the fish we caught for us and send it out with us once we got back. Cale dipped them in breadcrumbs and deep fried them. We had the best fish taco's. Lovely.

Once we got home, everyone was beat though. It's more exhausting than one would think to be fishing all day. We just had the dinner and then sat in front of the tv for the rest of the night. Cale and Rhiannon were cuddled up together and I just cuddled with Niko (Rhi's dog).

I just now got off of the phone with my mom and dad. I had called my dad for his birthday, which is on the 4th of April. When calling him around 10.30 pm here, I get him on the phone right before he goes to work around 8 am in Holland. It was so good talking to them again. And even though I write a lot of things on my blog, it's different just telling them all that I've been doing. So my dad turned 52 and I'm not there. That sucks. It's my grandfathers (from my dad's side) dying day on the 4th as well, and I wont be there. It was my cousins birthday on the 2de and I wasn't there. It's going to be my sisters birthday soon and I won't be there. It's weird. But I'll have to get used to it. For when I move out here in a couple of years, you know. I figure I'd mention that fact a lot, my plan to move out here, so people can get used to the idea. Because I'm sure as hell used to it already.

I'd better go to bed. It's getting late and it have been a lot of late nights and early mornings. Hellish combination if it happens more than a week in a row. I've only been sleeping like 5 or 6 hours a night, when my body really needs 7 or 8. Ooops... what can I say. Gotta live life to the fullest right.

BBQ

Today was my first real day in San Diego. Meaning, that I woke up and am later going to sleep here. I met a lot of Rhi's and Cale's friends today. they are great. Love them. We decided to have a BBQ with them today, there were about 10 people here. It was fun. We started at about 2 o'clock and it's starting to die out now. It was great fun. I didn't eat much though. Rhi had made a slamin' good french toast this morning and I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day. That's a good breakfast. Basically the BBQ was more just drinking beer and having fun for me. As it was for the rest except that they actually BBQ-ed. I had some, but not much. Unimportant though. The important part is that I feel so at home here. And the people here are great. I really like them.

We are going fishing out on the boat tomorrow with a group. Basically the same group as today. Nice. Should be good times. I feel so at home and at ease here. This here, San Diego/California/the USA is more home to me than Holland. I can't picture my life any different than living here. I feel so good. And I'm not homesick at all. I mean, of course I miss my friends and family. But Holland isn't really home. I don't see me staying there for the rest of my life. But don't worry. I'll come back. You can't just decide to stay here. With green card and citizenship and everything. I'm so happy... my family is the best. Here and in Holland. I'm blessed. I realize that more and more with each passing day here.

Viva Las Vegas

I got out of bed at the early hour of 6.30 on friday morning. Grandpa was, as usual, already up. Coffee was made and all our bags were packed. I jumped under the shower and then we set off for Las Vegas. The drive took about 6 hours through mountains and dessert. I was so happy when we got there. Rhiannon had called and said that she was about an hour away. So Grandpa and I had a bellhop put our bags in the beautiful room of Bill's Gamblin' Hall & Saloon. It's a nice victorian/western style hotel right on the strip. It's only a small hotel compared to the others, but even then it was big. Nothing in Vegas is small!!! After that Grandpa and I went out to the terras of the hotel next to us, the flamingo. Then Rhiannon called again. She was almost there, but also almost out of gas. And worst of all, she had forgotten her wallet in a coffeehouse in San Diego. About 4 hours away. So she had no money and no ID. Grandpa and I got in the car again and drove out to meet her. Her wallet was found and all the money and cards were still in there, thank God. After that little adventure we drove back to Vegas and I had the time of my life there. I saw so much and I've done so much I can't even tell you. I saw all the mayor hotels on the strip, like the New York New York, the Flamingo, the Venitian, Bellagio (which was my favorite) and so many more. My age wasn't too much of a problem seeing as in we didn't want ot gamble in the first place and I got all my drinks via Grandpa and Rhiannon. Or I would share with Rhiannon.

Tip to all: Brasillian Margarita. best drink ever!!!! (well not ever, but you know what I mean).

It was a great weekend. It brought me even closer to my Grandpa and I know that I will always remember it. It was wonderfull. It you wanted to know what it was like, go there. I mean it. You can't really describe it. You have to experience it. I know I'm definatly going back!!!!

Rhiannon and I drove out to San Diego today after saying goodbye to my Grandpa. He's the best man ever, besides my own dad that is. We just arrived in San Diego and I did not like trip out here. All you could see was desert and I was hung over from the night before. The problem being, my hang overs are never headages. They are nosia and an upset stumache. Not what you want when being in a car. But all is well. My room here is great. But it couldn't be any diffrent than me finding a spider in it after only being here for 5 minutes...oops. So the room is being fummed now and I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. After that, it should be completly bug and spider free.

Another tip to all: Jimmy Buffet. I didn't know any of his songs before this trip or anything about his fans, the parrotheads. But he's a great singer. And he has restaurants here called parrothead (great food). He also has a song called Margaritaville, and there's a place in Vegas named that way. We had dinner there and there was this whole show around it. It was great. Go there when in Vegas.

It's great weather out right now and I'm going to enjoy it. Love San Diego already. It's great!!!!

Last day in Salt Lake City

First of all I wanted to thank everyone for the e-mails, texts and comments they have send. it's so good hearing from all of ya. Right now I'm enjoying my last day in Salt Lake City. Nice and warm inside. It's snowing out and I've be out in it, up in the mountains most of the day. After yet another american breakfast, this morning at denny's, Grandpa and I set of to Park City. It's pretty much as I remembered it. Just colder and I guess less big than I thought. But I was only like 10 years old when I saw it first.


I've had a lot of fun here so far. I believe I left of telling you I was going to spend the night with my Grandma Sam. Grandpa, Sam and I met for dinner at Ruby River and after that I wnet home with Sam. She has a beautifull house that she regretfully has to sell due to moving to Arizona to take care of her folks. She had a pooltable in the bassment so we had us some Jack&Coke and played pool all night together with Joe and Joe, her friend and his son. The next morning (afternoon more like it) we had some breakfast (she cooked) and watched a movie. I didn't see the end though because grandpa was there around 4 o'clock to pick me up. (Saw the movie before so it didn't matter). It was almost like having seperated parents, haha. Grandpa and I went out to dinner to a mexican restaurant that night.

Yesterday we spend the day with Sheryl. Grandpa's girlfriend. We met up for breakfast at Dee's and went down to Thanksgiving Point after that. They had a museum there illustrating the history of the world. Dinosaurs (bones) and way older living beings to be seen there. It was way bigger than it looked from the outside. There was so much to see. Big fun. Actually learned alot already since I've come here. They had a 3D theater there as well so we saw a 3D movie about Afrika Wild Life. It was like being on a safari. Way fun.
That night we had dinner with us 3 plus Sheryl's brother and his wife who are on skiing holiday here. We ate at Parrotshead. It's a new restaurant here in Utah that was founded by a famous singer. (Or at least, that what they say, I never heard of the guy...) After that we went back to Sheryl's house and just hung out. Or at least, I let them all talk and catch up while I flipped through magazines. The letters where to small to read (right). Lexie, the wife, kept asking me questions about Holland. I wasn't in the mood to answer them though. Who gives a damn about Holland when your in America. For me the land of my dreams. I got a bit irritated when she asked me the same question for the zillionth time. Isn't it the Netherlands and not Holland. I'll tell you all now so I don't need to be asked this question anymore. It's both, you can use both. The netherlands is more international but the Dutch actually use both. We cheer our teams (soccer and shit) with Hup Holland Hup (meaning Go Holland GO) and we'll use it differntly too. The Netherlands is I guess the official name for those few people who don't know what your talking about when saying Holland and when sending a letter to that country. And no, Holland is not just a regio, that South Holland.

There, got rid of that frustration. I'm good to go to dinner now, haha.

Probably should get my suitcases good to go as well seeing as in Grandpa and I are driving out to Las Vegas tomorrow. Rhiannon, my 10 year older aunt, is meeting us down there. We'll spend the weekend there and then I'll be off to San Diego where I'll be for the rest of my trip. Lovely....

Salt Lake City

Well, I'm with my Grandpa in Salt Lake City right now. But it was a hell of a way getting here. Dawn and I left early on the morning of the 22e and headed for Lunchburg first. We went there to do the Jack Daniel's Distilery Tour. It was so nice to see and smell!!! I know everything about Jack Daniels now, haha.

After the tour we set of for Nashville, which is the capitol of Tennessee. We send the last hours of the day in the mall there. We looked around the shops, had dinner and decided to kill some time by going to the Imax movie theater. We bought tickets for the movie, prediction with Sandra Bullock. Good movie, I recommend it. After that we headed to the Motel where we had gotten a room earlier that day and got ready for bed. It took a couple of hours for us to fall asleep though. Eventually we did. But only to wake up early the next morning.

That morning we went to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast where I had amazing pancakes and 'keep it coming' coffee. We set of for Memphis after that. That's where my train would be departing from. But my train wouldn't leave till 10.50 pm and it was only noon when we got there. But we went there with a plan!!! We were going to Graceland. For the few people who do not know, Graceland is where Elvis Presley lived with his family. he bought the mansion when he was 22 until the end of his days. He was layed to rest there as well. We got to see most of his house. Apparently he never let people on the upper levels of his house when alive, so out of respect for him it is still closed for public today. They do charge you way to much seeing as in you can't see everything. We saw all of his property though and saw all his cars and airplanes. It was a nice experience. After that we went to down town memphis. We had some time to kill. We walked around there for a bit and then decided to find somewhere to eat. That appeared to be a much harder thing to do then it would appear to be. Memphis isn't really a city for me. It had a weird feel to it with even weirder people. Eventually we found somewhere to eat and after that we headed to the station. We had actually been there earlier in the day, right fater Graceland, to make sure they had my tickets. They did.

So we had some hours to kill before I could check in my bags. Around 9 pm we checked my bags and Dawn headed off. We both felt comftorable enough with leaving me there alone to wait for my train seeing as in there was a policestation right next to the train station. It was hard saying goodbye to Dawn. I love her so much. We had so much fun together. I miss her.

I still had to wait about 2 hours before the train would roll into the station and I spend those hours listening to music, smoking, listening to music and drinking (soft drink). Eventually my train rolled in and I boarded (duh). I found a seat next to a very nice old lady. It was her first time with Amtrak as well. Seeing as in it was night there wasn't a lot to see outside and I was dead teird. I slept around 12 o'clock and woke up a lot the rest of the night. I think I only slept about 4 hours that night. As I would the next. I eventually gave up around 6 o'clock. I walked up and down the train a bit and had a conversation with the lady next to me. We had a lively conversation about the big fat guy a couple of seats in front of us who had been snoring aaallll night. He kept sleeping until 10 o'clock when they woke him up because we had reached our destination, Chicago. A lot of people had gotten of already during the night in stations along the way.

I knew I had some time in Chicago. 4 and a half hours in fact. So I walked out the station and looked for a good place to eat breakfast. I ended up in a McDonalds. But they have great breakfast there. Pancakes, Sausages, Egg and everything. I had pancakes with a sausages. I took that time to call my parents and tell them I was ok adn where I was. Then i walked back to the station. Found a Starbucks on the way and of course walked in. And then I kept walking, I was lost...oops. I was god enough not to let people notice I was lost though. And it turned out I wasn't that lost at all. I had found the main entrence, but didn't reconize it as that because that wasn't where I had gone out of. Found it within a half hour after activating my brain.

I still had a lot of time to kill there. My train wouldn't leave till 1.30 pm or something. Finally that time rolled in and they called for the first people to start boarding. But then they said they couldn't board yet because the train hadn't arrived yet. It came in an hour late so eventually we left an hour late. They where pretty sure we would catch up on the time though. When I asked them half way through the trip we were 2 hours behind.

The train ride was ok. But highly uncomftorable to sleep there. There was a nice view in the train though. That being this cute guy. His name, as turned out the next morning when we spoke for the first and last time, is Jeremy. Lovely body, nice muscles and tattoo's on one arm. Not as nice a face as I at first thought he had though. It was dark first and I didn't want to look at him to closely, because it would have been even more obvious than it alreday was that we were watching eachother. We had a nice converstaion for about 2 hours in the morning. Up until the point he had to get off of the train in Denver. I still had, what, more than 15 hours to go. The rest of the trip was uneventfull though. The food was bad and over prized and the coffee tasted as if it was microwaved. There were way to less smoking stops as well. But it was a nice experience. Glad I did it because I got to see a lot of the country. I'm definatly never going to move to Iowa or any of those states. There's nothing there, at all...
Most of the train ride on the second day was through the mountains so I had a nice view. The Rocky Mountains are beautifull!!!

I arrived in Salt lake City around 12.30. being the middle of the night. AM on the 26e. Grandpa was already there waiting for me. It was so good seeing him again, still is obviously. We talked a bit when coming home and went to bed after that. Well, I took a shower first.

I woke up early again this morning. Around 8 o'clock . Grandpa was already in the kitchen making coffee. We went out to eat breakfast and spend the rest of the morning walking around down town Salt Lake City. We set off to see the Great Salt Lake after that and now we're in his appartment. I'm behind his computer and he's watching sports. We called Grandma and are seeing her at 7 pm for dinner at Ruby something. A restaurant. I'll be going with Grandma after that to spend the night with her and spend some time with her tomorrow. Owh, I call her Grandma because that's the roll she's always played in my live. She's Grandpa's ex-wife and Rhiannon's mother. But she's not a blood relation. I love her though. Can't wait to see her. haven't seen her for 7 or 8 years now.

I'm tierd though. I think I slept only 15 hours, if not less the last 3 nights. I guess I'll catch up on sleep in san Diego, haha.

going again

Yesterday Dawn and I ran some errands and then we set of for Fort Loudon. It's a fort here in the area used between in the British and Indian war here. It was quit nice to see. It didn't take long to walk through though. We were driving more then we were there. But it was nice to see. And it was such nice weather yesterday. Almost 80.
Around 6.30 we set off for the hospital. We arrived there around 7 pm to meet little Turner Micheal C. The newest member of the family. Just little over a day old. He is such a beautiful baby. I got to say goodbye to Jamie and Evan as well. Seeing as in I'm about to get my ass out of Knoxville. Dawn is driving me to the train station down in Memphis, where I'll be catching my train tomorrow evening to SLC. We are taking a detour though. First we'll be heading off to Lynchburg to do the Jack Daniels Tour. Then we'll keep driving to Nashville where we'll be visiting the big ass mall there. We'll be spending the night there and then drive to Memphis the next morning. There we'll be visiting Graceland (from Elvis Presley) and around 10 pm we'll have to be at the station so I can have my bags checked in. Then it will be saying goodbye to Dawn. Hate that prospect. Had so much fun here!!! Had so much fun with her!!!!
Next time I write I'll be in the cold again in SLC, UT.